Sleepy.

There are things on my plate that I should be doing, but I am just feeling so damn bloody sleepy.

Guess I just have to get used to waking up at 530am nowadays.. Eeeps.

All I want to do now, is to set up an alternate blog for teaching reflection purposes (locked) and download/instal Windows 7 RC on my Protege. Got swayed by my colleague today.

Looking for people to go out and chillax on Friday evening after school (I should be done in school at around 5) – anybody? I’m fine with any location, west or central. (:

Practicum II.

Now I’m scared shitless.

如果再回到從前 – 張鎬哲

如果再回到从前 所有一切重演
我是否会明白生活重点
不怕措折打击 没有空虚埋怨
让我看得更远
如果再回到从前 还是与你相恋
你是否会在乎永不永远
还是热恋以后 简短说声再见
给我一点空间
我不再轻许诺言
不再为谁而把自己改变
历经生活试验 爱情措折难免
我依然期待明天
如果再回到从前 还是与你相恋
你是否会在乎永不永远
还是热恋以后 简短说声再见
给我一点空间
我不再轻许诺言
不再为谁而把自己改变
历经生活试验 爱情措折难免
我依然期待明天
如果再回到从前 所有一切重演
我是否会明白生活重点
不怕措折打击 没有空虚埋怨
让我看得更远
如果再回到从前 还是与你相恋
你是否会在乎永不永远
还是热恋以后 简短说声再见
给我一点空间

XXXXXX

這首歌，應該還蠻耳熟能詳。看著百萬大歌星，聽到了這首老歌，感觸良多。尤其是它的A段的第一部分，更是讓人感慨。

若我再回到從前，會明白生活重點嗎？

Practicum

I’m freaking scared.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

To be frank, I got a little worried this morning as I was flipping through the papers while having my ham&cheese sandwich for breakfast.

Half a friggin star, Straits Times?! That was what the movie reviewer gave Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, the latest installment in the series. I wanted to rub my eyes and made sure that I saw what I saw, half a fricking star, thankfully my mother stopped me in time (Lasik, m’dears).

Transformers 2009!

Was a little freaked out by what I saw – hence the instinctive thing to do was to Google for the latest reviews, and apparently it was very similar across the board – no plotline, silly, too much actions and too crude for some people’s likings. Rotten Tomatoes had it at 26% – terrible! But wasn’t that what the first Transformers was all about too – fun, exciting and effectively, a no-brainer movie? I guess that was why I loved the first movie so much – awww Bumblebee!

Would absolutely love to have a copy of the 2007 movie! I guess, keeping in mind what Transformers started out as, a fun silly crazy action packed movie with a very very loose storyline, it makes me feel much better with the reviews, because such movies usually don’t sit as well with the movie critics who are all about depth and thoughtful movies – like, Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. The boyf and I just watched it on Monday and we didn’t quite get it.

Give me a blockbuster crazy silly summer flick as my last movie in a while!

In case you haven’t realised, tonight is Transformer night for the boyf and I – hence the excitement about Transformers. Why can’t I remember for my life who I watched Transformers 2007 with? I vaguely suspect it might be the cat, but if the movie was in 2007 – I wasn’t as well acquainted with the cat. Confused.

Back to my exam papers – I’m 20% into Paper 2 and it has been coming along pretty nicely. (:

Back, for the last time.

Did you read the papers, that schools will resume as per normal next week? Damn there goes my potential possible extra one week break before hell breaks loose. Oh wells. Therein starts my 10 weeks of fear/stress/exciting moments of my life. But that’s next week and today is only Tuesday. I still have 5 more days to go, and one exam paper that is due next week, which is untouched. Terrible, I am.

The plan was to start yesterday but I was just too plain lazy. Was watching some tv, finished a book and the boyf tempted me over for a movie after dinner.

Gulps. I had better start on it today. I should. I sound as though I’m convincing myself.

The weekend trip was amusing, to begin with. We thought the destination was Pulau Tioman, but we ended up at Dayang. Along the way, we had our doubts because one of the dive masters (DM) teased us with the locations and we really was a little lost. As dawn broke and we stepped out of the ferry that ferried us for 3 hours in the wee morning in really choppy waters (I’m amazed I didn’t puke), the boyf took a good look at the surroundings and declared that we were at Dayang and not Tioman.

There went our hopes of getting twin accomodation and more things for me to do, as a non diver. Simply because Dayang is a divers location through and through. 99% of the people go there with the notion of diving in mind – I was the remaining 1%, with the other non diver a fellow dive group member’s mother, but she could still snorkel!

Damn the lasik, but never mind. It was still a whole new experience for me, watching the various dive groups operate, understanding how the diving schedule works, listening in to the instructions given to the divers and watch them carry their diving equipment, and socialising with the DMs and other divers in the dive group. Plus the beach at Dayang was astonishingly beautiful, with its crystal clear waters. I could see fishes, colourful fishes as I sat on the dive boat watching the peaceful surroundings and waiting for the divers to come back from their first dive session of the trip. The water was breathtakingly beautiful, and I wondered to myself what marine life could lie below the surface of this crystal clear waters.

It makes me want to master swimming, so that I can learn diving, one day. Partly so that we both can have a common activity to love, and that in future if we were to go for dive trips I won’t feel so left out and bored out of my wits, that I can share in the joys of watching marine life at home and seeing the various underwater.

I want to see Nemo. Hurhur.

The Blue Reef people were really nice, with the DMs’ continuous teasing of how they want to see me go for the open water course the next time they see me. Makes me want to learn diving that much more, but that means I really need to get my swimming skills up to standard first.

Plus, James (a diver) could not stop talking about the mecca of diving – Sipadan, off the eastern coast of Borneo located in the Celebes Sea.

I've read that vis can go up to 50m!

Not to mention, the resorts at the neighbouring islands look fantastic! Alternatively, you can live on the oil rig, and dive right off the drilling platform! It’s totally phenomenal.

Seaventure - the transformed oil rig!

SWV on Mabul Island

Kapalai Island Resort

It’s crazy but it’s really damn gorgeous. I think I’m half tempting the boyf to dive more often, to chalk up experience and get housing for his camera before he comes to Sipadan.

In the meantime, I’ll be a couch diver – by surfing the Internet and satisfying myself with the pictures.

Inspiring morning.

and off to Tioman in a few hours.

Just finished packing for Tioman, and I’ve done the near impossible – to squeeze everything into a basic backpack, because the boyfriend says that he will not have any spare arms to carry my overpacked luggage, hence the backpack advice, which I obediently followed. Minimal packing, despite knowing that I’ll be spending the bulk of tomorrow on the dive boat rocking till the cows come home (as per ST).

And I suddenly realised that my self motivation is really low, this morning. I think this stark realisation dawned on me during the brief conversation ST and I had this morning, after the audit at Pioneer this morning (thankfully, my accounts were in order, it was those that I was not doing, that was slightly messy). I don’t have answers to questions that I ask myself, once in a blue moon when I think and ponder upon the intricacies of life. But I do know, I don’t need to have answers for everything, and some answers will come by themselves in the time to come.

I’m not doing much for myself too – I realised. The aims for myself, for improving myself somehow fell through the cracks on my list of things to do. I’m contented to live life like this, day by day, watching tv and reading when I have spare time – as compared to people who might know what they want to do with their lives and improve themselves. Even if I want to improve myself, what do I exactly want to do? Again, another question that I cannot answer to self.

On that note, I envy ST. Right from the get-go, he knew what he wanted to do (somehow) and he was willing to take the risk and do something that he would like to do, hence he has the self motivation when he goes to work. We talked about a fellow acquaintance of ours, and we were analysing what was her motivation in her current job. Then, what is my motivation in my current job/career to be?

What have I really wanted to do, but never had the courage to pursue – that I can answer for myself, but too ashamed to talk about it on virtual world. It’s really sad, isn’t it. It’s going to be a what-if that I will probably think about, for the rest of my life if I choose not to do anything about it. I’ve talked to a few people about it, probably Roo and Tok last year, and Ling this year, when we went for our dicewalk two weeks back.

I’ll continue to think about it, and hopefully act on it eventually, like I told Ling about it. She was very encouraging about it, as compared to some naysayers that I’ve met along my life.

Having said that, I really felt so blessed this morning after the morning (very odd ice blended tea) conversation with ST, that I have such a wonderful role model in him that I can take lessons from, and reflect upon. There are many other positive influences in different people in my life that I should and can learn from, and I shall do right that. A small step at a time and positive thinking will lead me somewhere, despite being on the path with many questions in mind and no answers.

Feeling extremely blessed and enlightened this morning. (:

Cupid (1998/2009)

As soon as I watched the first episode of this, I was in love with it.

Do you believe in love at first sight, or love that lasts after the passion dies fades? Cupid (2009 remake) is horribly funny! Now, if only I can lay my hands on the original Cupid (1998) that aired on ABC network. The DVD version perhaps? Time to hunt it down!

SYTYCD: Kayla and Max – Samba

Something I can watch the entire night. Kayla had no ballroom background! I’m friggin’ impressed. 

Eye drops

by the dozen, by the minute. Sigh. 

Stark realisation that I haven’t been allowing myself the negative feelings to be purged out on the blog, for some reason or other that I can’t quite pinpoint. And I wonder to myself, why haven’t I been able to allow the negative emotions to be mentioned. By negative, I don’t quite mean the angsty angry ones, I mean the sadness and emotional ones. 

Like how I worry about my post-Lasik eyes and that they are too dry and regression has occurred in the right eye, such that the doctor prescribed more medication that burnt a hole in the wallet, and put additional stress and worry on the owner of the post-Lasik eyes. Had I not reflected and thought about the sadness emotions when I was walking from Wheelock to Far East to get my charboiled chicken salad lunch from Carls’ Junior, I won’t have mentioned it on the blog. 

And I wonder why. 

People say that negative emotions keep people at bay, so does that equate the same to blog readers where negative emotions on the blog keeps readers at bay too? Mmm I wonder. 

Spent the afternoon finishing up The First Assistant by Clare Naylor and it’s a wonderful read – her take on the Hollywood industry is so griping andhilarious, you can’t help but continue reading it until you finish the whole book. That was how i felt when I finished reading The Second Assistant, the first in the two-book series, and thereafter went on a witchhunt for The First Assistant. 

Try finding them in our public libaries when you have the time, girls! Don’t think the boys would much fancy such books. 

I look forward to the day (which is actually tomorrow) when I can allow water contact with the eyes, and give my face a proper pampering and finally bathe without goggles. My face is feeling extremely off, and I just splurged on Faceshop yesterday, making full use of the birthday discount that I was actually entitled for a good 2 weeks and yesterday was the last day. Damnit, don’t you say.