Something that I’ve been guilty of not doing.

I was watching the following video, while trying to figure out how this new beta worked. Instead it guilted me into writing this post.

(If anyone reading is interested in the beta, leave a message – I’ve got 4 invites left. 1 invite automatically went to the boy, thus 4 left.)

I know I haven’t been expressing myself enough. It’s always the same excuse – that dreaded four letter word – work. Sadly, it’s haunting.

While I was watching the above video, the wheels in the head were churning:

  • Could I use it in the classroom?
  • How can I use it to engage the students?
  • Could I use it to make the subject matter less boring and stuffy, and get them to like the subject content and making it familar to them, ala instagram / tumblr the material?

Can you imagine – this tool’s main purpose was for expression, and I attempted to convert it to something possible educational? At one point in time, I was considering using it as a method for presentation of content. (While typing, I am still contemplating.)

The wheels wouldn’t stop spinning, until another thought surfaced.

What about my own expression? 

I barely blog nowadays. I’ve been thinking, and thoughts have been random. However, since work took over the bulk of the mind, I’ve never quite allowed myself to blog, or play serious games. A thoughtful blog entry requires time and effort to craft, serious gaming requires alot of time – time that I’m not sure if I can actually relax and allow myself to let go and have fun.

The constant guilty feeling always stay at the back of the mind. That is not a nice feeling.

Watching tv  is alright, because each episode is time-limiting i.e. each episode could be 20 minutes long – I could still do work after that. I do know it’s pretty impossible if I start gaming and get carried away. Thinks about those times when rambly and sodiume went off adventuring in the virtual world. We never quite managed to come out within any time frame we gave ourselves.

How do I actually allow myself to just let go and blog, or play games? The urge to blog has decreased minimally. When the thoughts come, I usually shove them to the back of the mind, until they eventually disappear and leave no trace. Tonight’s different, because there’s clearly nothing urgent and I’ve got the whole of tomorrow morning to work on the work in school because MYE has started.

I can’t quite figure out if it’s the school environment that causes me to behave this way, especially when teachers have never-ending amount of work and marking to do. We bring home work way too often for my liking, or we stay in school way too long to finish up work. Or could this just be my natural behaviour and attitude towards work in general?

I’m still trying to figure this one out. Hopefully, eventually, I’ll figure something out.

In the meantime, I’ll see if The New Hive can open up expression doors for me, and make me take time out for the self to express, like how I used to.


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